Good Day Lovelies. I know it has been a while since I blogged. First I was very sick with everything from a head cold to an unfortunate intestinal infection. I didn't much feel like blogging let alone try to get any coherent thoughts together on paper. After a few days of feeling better I began to get some anxiety about blogging again. The shitty committee was running around in my head again. My wife (Batman) also decided to start her own blog recently and I believe she is a much better writer and way funnier than I, so that led to some insecurities about my ability to blog. So after many talks with my head about my fear I decided to just start typing. I often make the mistake of comparing myself to others, and usually I fall short of what I think they can do better. I rarely give myself credit for the things that I can do, even when I can do it well.
There has been some recent changes for me personally. I finally have received medical again and starting next week I will have a series of Doctor appointments to go to. I am looking forward to getting to the bottom of a few medical issues that I am currently experiencing, including the impending doom of depression. I live in Washington state where it is dark, rainy and gloomy 8 months a year. Around here many people suffer from Seasonal Effectiveness Disorder, which is only more severe in those of us with mental health challenges. I am hoping that this year will be different and I will get things taken care of before they get out of control.
I am also dealing with a very emotional and sensitive 12 year old. Princess has been having her fair share of emotional break downs lately. I am not sure how much of what she is expressing is normal 12 year old girl problems and how much of it is real. Every little thing sends the poor girl into a whirlwind of emotions. Sometimes I have to step back and just laugh for a minute before I can try to comfort her. I have contacted her school counselor and she has met with Princess once so far. We are hoping the counselor can provide us with some guidance.
I have also been spending some time starting to plan our wedding. Since our engagement on June 5, 2013 we have gone through so many ideas, themes, styles and locations for our wedding that I got burned out quickly. I gave up on all wedding planning and talk for over a month. Then a couple of weeks ago I received a call that myself and bridesmaids had won free facials. So last Sunday me and my 5 bridesmaids went and had our facials and then lunch afterwards. It felt so good to be out with my girls just doing girly things. As I sat the table during lunch looking at each one of these wonderful ladies, I realized how blessed I am with the friends that I have. I lose sight sometimes of who has really been there for me over the years, and get caught up in self pity because I don't have more friends. The reality is that I am damn proud of the friends I have and I love them unconditionally as they have taught me to do. Friendships have been a very difficult thing for me to maintain over the years, many have come and gone. When the relationship ends I am always left feeling not good enough. It's about quality friends, not quantity of friends!! I am looking forward to many more days of planning with my lovely ladies.
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